Female-led relationships are prevalent and more common than many would like to admit. FLRs are everywhere around us!
They are far more common than many would recognize, but a woman-led relationship is not automatically “FemDom“. However, this essay is not about the comparisons or differences between those two.
FemLed — Authority + Leadership.
Dominant women or female leaders have always existed.
Organic Female-Led relationships are not new!
Female leaders are not a new phenomenon — At all levels, women who are in charge or take charge have been parallel to our male counterparts since ancient times. On some of those levels, their contributions have played a significant role in shaping the world we know today, and without them, we have not come this far with the world we know today.
To illustrate at the familial and intimate level, consider the interpersonal dynamics within your own family.
Think about your great-grandparents or grandparents — often, it is the woman who holds influence and makes decisions, while the man complies (albeit sometimes with playful resistance). It has been when we all do what grandma says, it’s that man down the street who is being called, “p**** whipped”, and even there is that saying from men, “the old ball and chain” as a reference to marriage.
Moreover, society, however, tends to stigmatize and stereotype women in leadership positions, perpetuating the belief that they are somehow inferior to men. It is baffling why people think that women are incapable of performing on par with men or even surpassing them. In reality, leadership skills and dominant personalities are not gender-specific, and it is unfair to generalize based on gender.
Rather than viewing leadership as a trait exclusive to one gender, it is important to view it as a human quality that transcends gender boundaries. Many of us would agree that not all women can follow a lead, and not all men can lead. So, the debate remains.
We are all unique individuals, and I believe there is no such thing as “gender roles” or “role reversal.” These terms imply a binary distinction that fails to capture the complexity of human relationships.
However, I get it — it’s an easier way for many others to grasp the foreign to their concept. Traditional relationships could become complicated when there is not a clearly established leader, often leading to power struggles. Some traditional egalitarian relationships, while they strive for equality, could face some challenges due to the absence of a clear structure or hierarchy.
To emphasize, traditional relationships could get complicated when there is no formally established Head of Household or leader. It could become a power struggle, and those power struggles can happen. It usually defaults to what we are conditioned to believe — the man leads and dominates, and the woman follows and submits.
This is just an illusion played by romanticism and idealist words that don’t have a bearing on how the relationship mechanics work. Lies we tell! It is essential to debunk these misleading notions and confront the realities of how relationships truly function.
This is where alternative styles come into play. Such as conscious FLRs and/or unequal styles of relationships. However, it is important to understand that this does not imply unfairness.
It is indispensable to note that while it could be, an FLR does not necessarily imply “kinkiness” or “BDSM” involvement, aka, “FemDom”, nor does it require a formal agreement.
It is a personal, interpersonal relationship that moves away from the traditional power dynamics where the man is considered the ultimate figure at home, and in most cases, superior to the woman. Instead, an FLR recognizes and values a woman’s authority and places her in a leadership role.
By definition, it is a type of interpersonal relationship and a relationship style and not less or more than any other, and it is simply when the woman becomes the leader, and ultimate authority or decision maker. Meaning, that the supporting partner could still hold a certain degree of duties, and it doesn’t imply either, the partner is less, inferior, or passive. It doesn’t even mean she will boss the man around all day and night, or the man is inferior to the woman.
Female-led relationships — don’t imply better odds of succeeding either because, like any other type, it still depends on the individuals involved.
If an organic or conscious woman-led relationship is the type that works or may work for you, go for it. Don’t wait until the far future, it becomes part of the norm. Live today, not in the future.
I hear you here — There is no need to report to friends and family either what are the details of your relationship unless you want to. There is no need to do what other FLRs do. It is what you would like to do with the right partner.
I’m not saying an FLR is the best, only way, or is superior to other types, but what I am saying is that as long as you have compatibility with a partner in that regard, you are golden.
There is no better time than these days to seize the type that works for you — embrace the diversity of love.
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Original Publishing Date: Oct 16, 2020 — Personal Opinion About FLR
Last essay revision: January 13, 2025
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